Monday, January 26, 2009

Never make a decision from fear...

...or anger. Both are paralyzing. And whether you can see it in the moment, they really are the same thing. In the Muselan Monday Morning Musing this week we discuss not making a decision when you are feeling fearful. But what about when you are angry?

Often times when things really tick us off, we run out and do something about it. We make a phone call, we write a letter, we get in our car and drive somewhere because, by gosh, we're going to do something about it. Or maybe we don't and we just take it out on the next person we come into contact with. Just as in making a decision from fear, making a decision from anger can cause us to act in ways we normally would not. And we often regret it later.

As I've grown more conscious I notice that when I'm angry I now have 2 paths I take in order to work it out without affecting others. #1 - I move. I go for a walk, I go do power yoga, I start cleaning like crazy. It's like the anger is a fuel and I just need to burn it off. The other way I work it out is to turn a little more introspective. The most basic way I do this is to write. I open up a new document or pull out a clean piece of paper and just write. I express all of my feelings and thoughts no matter what they are. Then I delete or throw it away. If I truly feel called to action or to make a decision, I will do it later. Sleep is always good for changing my perspective too.

What do you do to deal with your anger? How can you avoid acting or making decisions in anger?

1 comment:

Jan said...

I love your post. It is so important to remain as peaceful as we can, especially in a predominately, angry, most challenging world.

My relationship with anger changed when I "woke-up" to the realization that I could "react" or "respond" to any strong emotion. Obviously responding is the calmer choice. I stop, observe, name the emotion, take some breaths, and allow the feeling to settle down. I know that I do not have to respond from this place. After all, it is only our ego making itself known. Anger is only a feeling, and we don't have to believe, or act out every feeling that wells up in us. A feeling can rise or fall in a nanosecond. One minute it's there, the next it's gone, and we're feeling better. Feelings are not the be all and end all..

Learning to be less reactive and more conscious, more responsive, is the key for me. Mindfulness principles help.

Your blog is wonderful. So glad I found it. I am going to bookmark it and check in now and then.

Love and blessings to you.