Anger - the heart of the matter

I can definitely tell Anger has been on my mind lately. As I type, Dr. Phil is talking with some people who have some real anger issues. He wants to know what gives them the right to talk to another human being that way. The woman's answer? "I'm pissed off!" It seems to me like people are still not really getting to the heart of the matter. I really want to know what she's so mad about - deep down. She feels like a bully and said she was bullied in High School. That could be it, but I still feel like it's bigger than that.

There was a time when I was really ticked off too. Then I realized why (read more about it here.)
Anger, like our other emotions, comes in a spectrum. We have times we are in touch with it, times when we're not. We have times when we express and times when we don't. Then there are times when we express and it's extreme. Anger can be particularly disconcerting because it has the potential to create such harm, both to ourselves and to others. That is why the work we are doing here is so important.

Emotions can run amok and then we become slaves to them. We feel out of control. The answer lies not in getting in control but in getting in touch. Get to the heart of the matter, get into the depths. Find that emotion and name it. Is it anger? Outrage? Frustration? Fear? Often times it might not even be what you think it is. Then find out why. Keep asking yourself the question until you can't think of any more answers. Then, in a safe environment, let yourself feel it - really feel it. Laugh, cry, scream if you must, just as long as you feel it. You may just find that you start to become old friends with it. The kind of friend that you don't get nervous about seeing, that you welcome because you know it won't throw off your routine, and that comes and goes relatively quickly because you know you'll see her again soon. Make her a cup of tea, chat a bit, give her a hug and then say "See you later". You will and it gets easier each time.