I have been thinking about this week’s Module Morsel, specifically Marshall Rosenberg’s idea that anger is from blame. Is there a connection between blame and feeling you are right? (Or am I getting a bit too esoteric! ☺ ) It just feels that blaming and feeling you are right are both ways of making the other person wrong. And, can’t help but see the control in each of those. We have an idea about how something is to go and then blame or feel the other is wrong when it doesn’t flow the way it did in our head. (Of course, the other can be a person or an object or a situation or a dog! ☺) When we draw it into ourselves and fully accept responsibility not for what happened but our reaction to what happened, compassion can ensue.
These thoughts came from my thoughts around does anger only happen when you feel you are right. Marya commented that she wasn’t sure how that fit when she was angry with her dog. I had to admit I didn’t either so I pondered it. Maybe being right is also about feeling you are right about the way something should flow, how a day should go, how your dog and everyone else in your life should act. I know I can get frustrated (read: angry) when my son would has a fit and I have to stop what I am doing to tend to it. This month I have been watching myself and working on being perfectly present with my children. Yesterday I had a lovely day with them. I had a few things I wanted to get done and then went about them with a soft attention. Whenever my children needed me, I stopped immediately what I was doing to turn my full attention to them and be with them completely. The day flowed effortlessly and I seemed to get everything done without even trying. Powerful!
(Sorry for the rambling post. I have a lot on my mind on this topic. Thanks, Marya, for pushing me on this one!)
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1 comment:
Laura; Very insightful and helpful!
I know I get into the blame game when my expectations are not being met. And I get frustrated and or crabby. I do not even realize it is expectations that are the trouble until I have sat with it awhile. I without knowing it put a script together and when others in my life are not follwoing it well, there we go, I am frustrated and even angry about it. Until I come back to center and reflect and let go of expectations. And accept what is. Thanks for the post! Denise
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