Your Spritual Practice

What do you do to get grounded and centered in your heart?

My Hidden Lesson

(Laura) So, I had an interesting chat with Marya today. We were discussing this month’s topic and what we had learned for ourselves. I was mentioning how this month hadn’t been very illuminating for me. I had set a focus for being more aware in my relationship with my extended family. I didn’t think anything had come up for me. Then it hit me, I had had a huge lesson in the area and had almost missed it! I am continually amazed at how, when you set an intention, the lessons come up. I hadn’t even “worked” on it this month!

Say What You Want

"Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change."

I think the same can be said for the things you say. Change the way you say things and the things you say (and look at!) change. One of the things I realized in communicating and meeting my own needs is that I sometimes try to accommodate someone else and don't really say what I want. Such as, "Oh, it doesn't matter where we eat, whatever YOU want is fine with me." Ever said something like that? Try getting a little more specific. It doesn't mean you dictate everything but you certainly can express your preferences. "I'd like to eat Mexican or Italian food, could you choose the restaurant?"

Blaming Myself

So, last week’s Module Morsel was a particular challenge for me. Knowing the difference between blaming myself for a negative interaction (“What did I do/say to make them angry/irritated/impatient?) and being conscious of other people’s feelings while still giving them the space to have their own reaction to me even if it is negative. (I do everything with an open, loving heart and they still have a negative reaction because of their own “stuff”). I had a great conversation with Marya and fellow Awaken to Joy club member, Karen. You can hear it here.

What is a Module Morsel?

When you register for the Awaken to Joy program, you receive a Module Package each month. The Module Package includes a reading (a few pages on the topic by Laura along with some ideas for deepening your study around the topic); a podcast of Laura reading the Module; and you receive the Module Morsel. The Module Morsel is a weekly email in which we share a “snipet” of the monthly reading as well as an idea for the week for your study. That way, the module comes to you in bits and pieces each week!

Communicating as Parents

Here is a conversation Marya and I had during the Words Module month. I thought it would be particularly useful this month so here it is. In this recording, we discuss communicating as parents, the importance of our words and the energy behind them. Enjoy!

Communicating and Our Needs

On last month's teleclass, one of the things we discussed was ways to recognize the needs behind communication. We said that when there is negative communication or negative feelings around a conversation, we can first look to 2 major areas to try and make improvements. The first is unmet basic needs and the other is long held beliefs or issues that we have that creates a negative filter.
Unmet basic needs would be not enough sleep, hungry, etc. The other major area I think an example might be helpful. Maybe I believe that people who have lots of money are "jerks". Let's say I was at a class and speaking to someone I believed had lots of money. I might automatically assume he or she is not going to be nice to me. I might go into the conversation on the defense and angry without a word even being said.
Both of these episodes have occurred in my life recently (and oddly enough in the same building on different days). The later episode did happen to my husband. A conversation did not go well because of his beliefs and assumptions about the other person, who he did not even know. We did discuss later how his assumption may have created unnecessary negative feelings for both he and the other person.
The former episode happened to me just yesterday. I was tired from having taken care of my sick daughter for several days. A stranger made a request of me and I got very irritated. It was quite an innocuous comment but because I was tired I really reacted strongly to it, in a negative way. I did recognize that I wasn't behaving as I normally would, had I felt rested, and at least at the awareness enough to remove myself until I could calm down.
The lesson in both cases is that when you find yourself in those icky feelings in a conversation, you do have the power to stop it and ask yourself, "Do I have needs that can be met in order to help myself feel better?" or "What belief do I have that may be creating a negative filter?". Either one can cause us to not fully hear the other person.

Inspirational Quote

"Who speaks, sows; who listens, reaps."

- Traditional French Saying

My Communication

I have still been thinking about the negative assumptions piece I have written about here and here. I realize that for me it comes to being more conscious of learning than on teaching. (Tricky for a teacher!) When I am in a learning mode, I pause, I listen more, I have space between my thoughts and my words. Letting myself be open to new ideas, being empty for more as a beginner, rather than full like an expert, gives me the space to observe without evaluating. As a beginner, I don't know what everything means and I can let go of preconceived ideas.