I was recently reading that a sign of low self-esteem is interpreting things that are said as having negative meaning. In other words, confusing evaluation with observation of facts (our work for the month) is a sign of low self-esteem! So I have started paying attention to when I tend to interpret what someone says as negative. As I work on separating my observations from my evaluations, I am also working on my self-esteem.
So, tell me, where do you notice your negative assessments coming up? What do you learn from it?
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I've been thinking about this a lot since I first read it. There was a bit of resistance at first, now I'm ready to explore and learn.
First thing I've learned is that I'm more apt to make an evaluation (or judgment) when I'm speaking with someone else. I think it's a desire to "fit in" or belong. Even if it doesn't always feel right. Part of it is habit too. I'm trying to practice just stopping. I did it tonight - I almost made a comment, caught myself and closed my mouth. That felt much better.
I wrote up a blog article on my experience with interpretation today. Please view....http://namasteknit.typepad.com/namaste_knit/2008/09/knowing-less.html
Tamlin, I LOVED your story! What a great insight for you. And, Marya, yep, resistance. My "issues" came up around my professional life. I have felt "wronged" so many times. Jumping to the very wrong conclusion... When I began to consider that it might be low self-esteem - yikes - resistance! In retrospect, I get it. I was just protecting that precious little ego that needs to take a nap now...
Hi Laura,
I’m a long time reader of your blog Awaken to Joy Club and appreciate what you do.
My husband and I publish a blog called “Esteem News” that covers own thoughts about esteem and self-esteem and esteem reactions on news.
I posted an item on our blog yesterday that might be of interest to your readers, called “Top 5 key-thoughts about self-esteem” (http://www.sikantis.net/blog/?p=235).
I invite you to check it out at your earliest convenience.
Regards,
Cecilia and Terry Hostetler
Thanks, Cecilia. Your site is fabulous! Thanks for sharing.
I whole heartedly agree with this. I have noticed this also in my professional life, I have been focusings on believing more in myself and letting go of what I perceive someone else's opinion or comment might mean. So often in the past I read something into what they are saying to me. I feel just feeling mindful around what I am saying and then taking in anothers comments or story with out attaching myself to what they are saying. If I read something into what they are saying to me then I am making an attachment to their opinion. I can choose not to let their opinion affect me. And then I have those people who can say anything to me and it doesn't matter!! Amazing stuff....thanks Laura
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