"Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change."
I think the same can be said for the things you say. Change the way you say things and the things you say (and look at!) change. One of the things I realized in communicating and meeting my own needs is that I sometimes try to accommodate someone else and don't really say what I want. Such as, "Oh, it doesn't matter where we eat, whatever YOU want is fine with me." Ever said something like that? Try getting a little more specific. It doesn't mean you dictate everything but you certainly can express your preferences. "I'd like to eat Mexican or Italian food, could you choose the restaurant?"
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Another big part of communicating needs is figuring out what it is you want in the first place!
Recently I had a realization about something I wanted. From that place I was able to be more specific in making plans instead of just waiting for someone else to do it and being disappointed when it wasn't what I wanted.
First, determine what you want. Second, communicate it!
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