Monday, July 21, 2008
An Interesting Month
When I was discussing what I wanted to think about this month with Karen and Marya (you can find the podcast here), we talked about how judging others is merely a reflection of what we are judging in ourselves. So, I have spent the last few weeks reevaluating my judgment area for the month (my husband's parenting) and investigating what there is to learn for me. Interestingly, we were right! I do just what he does that I find I want to judge! As I began to become more conscious of my own behavior, my own judgment melted away...
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3 comments:
I had to laugh, because I find the exact same thing. The behaviors that annoy me most in my husband are the ones that I do, too. Or, conversely, the things I think he "should" be doing are the things that I consistently feel bad about NOT doing myself. Can you tell me more about how you are working with this??
I have thought about this comment for so long, Nona! In the teleclass I discussed that my technique was to fill my husband up so he wasn't as tired and able to parent better. (Then he wouldn't "do" the behaviors I found so "bad"). On the call I reflected that I hadn't really worked on letting go of my judgment at all, I had just worked to alleviate the actions I judged. Upon further reflection, I have realized that it was in giving to my husband, that I began to release my judgment. The benefits to me from "filling him up" wasn't so he would parent "better". The benefit was giving love to him helped me move from a place of judgment (fear) to acceptance (love). Give love, my dear, Nona, and judgment falls away.
hey,really nice insights on judgement. i have caught myself judging the behavior or choices of friends...and repeatedly it does bring in a sense of separation. sort of like much as i really love them, hmm... those bits are an irritation. i increasingly realise how limiting that view can be. Yes, Laura i guess the only antidote to the whole state is a generous open love. thanks :) xx
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