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Monday, July 21, 2008
An Interesting Month
When I was discussing what I wanted to think about this month with Karen and Marya (you can find the podcast here), we talked about how judging others is merely a reflection of what we are judging in ourselves. So, I have spent the last few weeks reevaluating my judgment area for the month (my husband's parenting) and investigating what there is to learn for me. Interestingly, we were right! I do just what he does that I find I want to judge! As I began to become more conscious of my own behavior, my own judgment melted away...
I had to laugh, because I find the exact same thing. The behaviors that annoy me most in my husband are the ones that I do, too. Or, conversely, the things I think he "should" be doing are the things that I consistently feel bad about NOT doing myself. Can you tell me more about how you are working with this??
ReplyDeleteI have thought about this comment for so long, Nona! In the teleclass I discussed that my technique was to fill my husband up so he wasn't as tired and able to parent better. (Then he wouldn't "do" the behaviors I found so "bad"). On the call I reflected that I hadn't really worked on letting go of my judgment at all, I had just worked to alleviate the actions I judged. Upon further reflection, I have realized that it was in giving to my husband, that I began to release my judgment. The benefits to me from "filling him up" wasn't so he would parent "better". The benefit was giving love to him helped me move from a place of judgment (fear) to acceptance (love). Give love, my dear, Nona, and judgment falls away.
ReplyDeletehey,really nice insights on judgement. i have caught myself judging the behavior or choices of friends...and repeatedly it does bring in a sense of separation. sort of like much as i really love them, hmm... those bits are an irritation. i increasingly realise how limiting that view can be. Yes, Laura i guess the only antidote to the whole state is a generous open love. thanks :) xx
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